Do You Feel Welcome in This Crazy World?
“Like any true mirror, the gaze of God receives us exactly as we are, without judgment or distortion, subtraction, or addition. Such perfect receiving is what transforms us. Being totally received as we truly are is what we wait for and long for all our lives. Soon we who are gazed upon so perfectly can pass on the same accepting gaze to all others who need it.” Richard Rohr
Do you feel Jesus regularly enjoying you? His desire is “that you would receive the perfect knowledge of God’s pleasure over your lives” (Col 1:9 TPT). These are Paul’s words, but he didn’t always feel God’s pleasure.
Imagine Saul’s encounter with Jesus on the road to Damascus. Saul was an angry man, bound up in a works-based religious system, which blinded him to the reality of a loving God, fueling his anger even more. How could these Christians be so happy when they abandoned the religious system? Saul might have wondered.
Yet Saul was transformed by Jesus’ accepting, welcoming, forgiving care during the next three days in the house of Judas of Damascus, maybe never experiencing this love before. God asked a fellow spiritual friend, Ananias, to pray for Paul and as he did, "the crusty substance over Paul’s eyes disappeared and he could see perfectly” (Acts 9:18).
I would have loved to have been in that house and witnessed first-hand the softening of Saul’s heart. I can imagine the tears, the joy, the relief of releasing the anger of never feeling quite good enough. This faulty narrative of God entrapped him.
According to Dr. Dan Siegel, the 4 S’s of secure attachment needed for every human being is to be seen, safe, secure, and soothed. It seems that Paul finally felt safe with God, letting Jesus and others soothe and soften the hard, crusty layers that religious duty and false self living had built up.
Jesus was inviting Paul to see what He actually came to earth to offer: Salvation based on a new, secure attachment to the heart of a God who is easy to please. God also opened Paul’s eyes to his true identity: A totally received, accepted human being, seen, and secure in the safe place of vulnerability.
“This is at the very heart of the spiritual journey, but it takes time to feel safe enough with ourselves and with God to risk exposing the tender, unfinished places of the soul. We are so accustomed to being shamed or condemned in the unfinished parts of ourselves that it is hard to believe there is a place where all of who we are--the good, the bad, and the ugly—will be handled with love and gentleness,” says Ruth Haley Barton.
And then there was Ananias who connected with Paul without judgment. I love how the narrative lets us in on the tension that Ananias' experiences, “Lord, I have heard many reports about this man,” yet he lets go of his preconceived view of someone totally on the other side. Aren’t we glad that Ananias didn’t let hatred and fear rule? Let his words be ours, too: “Jesus has sent me so that you may see again.”
The world, especially now, needs us to be people who welcome others and are happy to be with them . . . no matter what. Who knows what blindness will be healed in the coming days as we open ourselves to new connections with God and others?
After meditating on Paul’s conversion, my prayer has been: Lord, please remove any harshness in me that would push people away. Help me see more clearly your smile over my life so I can smile over others.
Here are some reflection questions that might be helpful:
What crusty substances (misguided narratives of who God is) are over my spiritual eyes?
What in me needs a soothing, non-judgment touch from God or a listening, spiritual friend?
Who am I being invited to see more fully and welcome?
BETH
P.S. I shared more on attachment in a conversation this week with Be Still Ministries.