Why Holding Tight Hurts Us

"In the beginning, we open our eyes and instinctively tighten our grip around all that is placed in our hands. In the end, others close our eyes and our hands are incapable of gripping a thing. Perhaps on the other side, we may see this life as a journey from keeping to releasing; from gripping to entrusting." Alicia Britt Chole

“Some of us try desperately to hold on to ourselves, to live for ourselves. . . . We don’t think we can live generously because we have never tried. But the sooner we start the better, for we are going to have to give up our lives finally, and the longer we wait the less time we have for the soaring and swooping life of grace.” Eugene Peterson

While riding my bike this week, I bounced over tree roots like staccato speed bumps. My hands and arms stiffened as I anticipated losing control. As my elbows locked, so did my shoulders. I was determined!

And then I thought of Beth's post from last week, about releasing our tight-fisted hold on life. It occurred to me that by gripping taut and tightly, I was actually increasing my probability to wreck. You see, my stiffness limited the give and take of the moment, and left no room for the creativity of a safe solution. My failure to relax essentially constrained my options!

When life gets bumpy we seize up harder, doubling down our efforts and grip. 

Ironically, in doing so, we usurp the space God enjoys to generate creative and beautiful pathways. The landscape of options is reduced and fear makes for small solutions. Some call it "self-fulfilling prophecy." 

God offers another way. Let's open our hands to the "soaring and swooping life of grace," as Peterson says. And let's sing with the psalmist: "He brought me out into a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me" (Psalm 18:19).

JUDY